Chapter 7

The Suburban House Wife Hockey Chronicles
Chapter 7
Friday January 8, 2010

Song of the week: Hit Me with Your Best Shot by Pat Benatar

Pre-game:
Ugg, I am back on the oatmeal and all natural plan yogurt. This is what happens when you partake in all the bacchanalia the season has to offer. When I look in the mirror, that is only big enough to reflect my head and shoulders, I can honestly say my waistline does not seem to have suffered from my reckless eating habits over the past two weeks. The thing I miss the most is the steady stream of refined sugar coursing through the veins. I get to 3pm and I need a nap and caffeine is not helping with the withdrawal.

I didn’t don the skates once over the holidays. I dropped my son off every day for free skate and drove off, back to the sofa and my box of fudge. Feeling safe and content knowing I was not going to terrorize myself on this particular day.

Well, Santa bought me a new high tech composite hockey stick. Since it is a new and improved version of Woody I have decided to call the stick Buzz Light Year. Buzz for short. He is lighter and sticky so if I can’t hold on to the puck at least I can hold on to the stick. Hayley Wickenheiser look out! Also, a friend and reader (Sue and Ted) who were equally concerned about me sullying the family name gave me a new name band with my maiden name for my jersey. Still no jill.

As mentioned in chapter 6, when the river freezes,” The Manager” will make her husband clear a space on the river for a rink. January 1 there he was scrapping and clearing while the Terrier watched from her kitchen window drinking her coffee. The neighbourhood joke about the river rink is whenever he clears the rink the next day there will be a snow storm. Even if he leaves it for weeks and then gets to it on his free time the next day there is a storm. ALWAYS!

It is a widely held view that Canadians are addicted to the weather network. In our neck of the woods we just wait for “The Husband” to start clearing the ice and we all rush to the store for milk and bread.

Today was our first day back after the holidays. I fortunately did not go. I made a trip to Halifax and missed the event. I was under the impression most of the men who always get their man had been shipped off to Vancouver for the Olympics and I was going to have a free speeding pass. Well, I think my little trip corresponded with January quota week. I wasn’t 5k into my 300k trip and I was pulled for speeding. To make matters worse, the trip to and fro was littered with RCMP. I had to put the car in cruise control which prevented from making good time. If you’re wondering, my record is still pristine. Not even a written warning. Just a small slap on the wrist and a “please slow down miss”.

Next week will be a challenge but with the new stick and name band I should be laughing.

Thoughts:
1. It has occurred to me that some of you know me and some know the Terrier but there are not many of you who know us both. So I have taken it upon myself to try and help you out. If you are trying to picture The Terrier think of Maggie Smith in her role as Professor Minerva McGonagall in Harry Potter. For me I would say Chalize Theron. Not as her role in the Monster, more like how you would see her on the red carpet.
2. Did I mention my stick was RED!!!!!!!!!

Cheers
The Pylon