Chapter 2

The Suburban House Wife Hockey Chronicles
Chapter 2
Friday November 20, 2009
Song of the Week: Let me in Coach by CCR
Pre-game
As I prepare mentally for my second ice time in 30 years I am feeling very nervous, it’s a different nervousness than my initial go at hockey because now I fully appreciate how bad I am. I have also missed the team’s second practice due to my Costa Rican vacation last week. I have been told I missed how to skate corners by placing foot over foot. I thought briefly yesterday about taking in the free mom and tot skate at the local arena but dismissed it, not wanting to humiliate myself in front of a new batch of people. So I will reap what I sow and slog through as best I can.
I have decided to wear a jersey that does not have our family name on it as not to embarrass my son. I still do not have a jill so I have to tape my missed matched socks to my legs. I have cut off the excess plastic on my mouth guard so I don’t feel like I am having a filling at the dentist. Oh yah, I left my gear in the trunk of the car for the past two weeks, I wonder if that was such a good idea. I hope the player to be named later is as bad as I am.
Post-game
Athleticism has no bearing on whether you will be a competent hockey player; it means you won’t collapse of heart failure. As expected missing a week has weakened my performance. I have a feeling the coach has decided there is no hope for me and has left me to the wolves, spending all his time with the more talented beautiful Rooothesaaay mothers who have matching outfits.
During skills we learned to do hour glasses and T-pushes. We tried our best at shooting into an empty net. We ended the hour with a pickup game. Red jersey’s against every other colour. My BFF has a light blue jersey but tried to assimilate herself on the red team’s bench. She was quickly kicked out. The red team has all the talent, the multi colours are riff raff. We started off badly with a quick goal from the red team but we managed a respectable 2-1 loss when the last whistle blew.
I have taken the position of defence which seemed within my skill range and BFF opted for forward. This might not be where she ends up, I just sayin. At one point in the game a saw BFF’s pink stick but no BFF. I canvassed the ice and found her 10 feet away from her stick laying “corpse pose” in front our team’s bench. BFF and I ended the day with lunch.
Thoughts:
· I have a rash from son’s old gear.
· BFF is better than me. That will have to change.
· I think I’ll invest in a red jersey.